“I was the last person I would expect to be like that.”
As he sat in his chair, not making much eye contact, Seaholm junior Brandon (*”Brandon” is a changed name for privacy purposes) began describing a diagnosis that would change many things in his life.
“It was a huge physical toll on me; I was always sleeping, I was always tired. I lacked a lot of motivation for homework, for talking to people; I lost a lot of weight too.”
But Brandon never really knew what was wrong until his parents confronted him.
“My Mom and Dad became very concerned with me,” he said.
It was only after they insisted on him seeing a counselor that Brandon finally found a diagnosis that encompassed all his symptoms: depression.
Depression, one of the most common health conditions in the world, is a medical illness that affects the mind and body of a person. More than six million men in the US suffer from it, and the numbers for women are only slightly higher. It can cause people to feel consistently sad, have a lose of interest in things, a dramatic change in appetite, have sleeping issues, a constant feeling of tiredness and a hard time concentrating and making decisions.
Dennis Rozema, Seaholm’s crisis counselor, says that depression is a very common issue at the school, however the majority of students he sees for depression are female.
“More of the girls I see are self-referred or are more willing to talk,” Rozema said.
But for the boys, he believes are less willing to talk due to an unspoken stereotype.
“In general, guys perceive that there are certain expectations of them,” Rozema said. “There is a stereotype, and guys believe that stereotype.”
Referring to expectations such as being strong and not showing emotions, Rozema says that they prevent teenage guys from seeking help.
“Guys [reach out for help] later, rather than sooner,” he said. Dr. Aldona Valivonis, PhD, of Elm Street Clinic, also credits the stigma against getting help with the misunderstanding of symptoms.
“Adolescent young men don’t feel depression the same way females do,” she said.
Depression in teen boys often cannot be easily recognized. While girls may have more emotional symptoms, boys are more likely to be irritable, aggressive or angry.
Seaholm health teacher Ann DeBoer blames society for the way depression is perceived.
“As a society, we have boys fit into this macho image; [and] it’s not macho to be weak. Boys today…would now consider [depression] a weakness.”
Brandon, however, doesn’t believe that there is a stigma with males and depression.
“I think [depression] for guys is the same for girls, girls are just more willing to talk about it. Girls tend to be more social, to talk about their feelings. Guys keep it pent up and don’t show them.”
While Dr. Valivonis does believe there is a stigma with males and depression, she said she would agree that girls are keener on discussing their problems.
“Teen girls tend to have different kinds of friendships than guys do,” she said. “[Their friends] can often help lead them to treatment [after talking]”
It also appears to Valivonis that fear of judgement by others is a major factor in teenage boys not seeking help.
“Adolescents, even some adults, still confuse seeking [help] as a sign of severe mental illness,” she said. The consequences, however, of leaving depression untreated can be severe.
“The dangers are [many],” Valivonis said. “One can turn to drugs and alcohol, instead of seeing a psychotherapist. The extreme is people try to commit suicide.”
According to Dennis Rozema, recent statistics have been found correlating depression and teen suicide.
“The number of girls who attempt suicide is higher than the number of boys,” he said. “However, the number of guys who actually complete suicide is higher than girls.”
But Rozema added that having depression does not mean suicide is inevitable, that there are many other ways to deal with it.
“We all have [issues] we need to deal with,” Rozema said. “But the sooner you deal with them, the easier they’ll become.”
While speaking about how he handles his depression, Brandon said it does take effort.
“Sometimes you have to make a conscious effort to motivate yourself,” Brandon said. “But you just have to deal with it.”
Ann DeBoer believes depression should be treated like any other medical condition: get help for it as soon as possible.
“If you had a broken leg, you’d go and get it fixed, right?” she said.
After seeing a psychotherapist for a while, Brandon mentioned that he doesn’t need as much outside help as before.
“I’m doing a lot better,” he said.
If you believe you or a friend may have depression, talk to a trusted adult. If you feel you cannot talk to an adult, confide in a friend; according to Dr. Valivonis, anyone is better that keeping it to yourself.
